I grew up in a very religious Catholic household, and neither snow nor sleet, nor hail were going to keep my parents from performing their Sunday duties of getting us all out the door and off to church that morning. After all, it was Easter Sunday, one of the days everyone (even the semi-lapsed Catholics) went to Church. And believe me, we weren’t semi-lapsed, we went EVERY Sunday to Church, without fail. My parents were very staunch Catholics.
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My mom and the 3 girls (Mary-Kate, Sue, and me AKA Baby Huey) on our way to Easter Mass |
I remember my mother making sure we all got bundled up in our snow boots, hats, mittens, all-weather coats with hoods and out the door to walk the mile trek to St. Agnes Church. All of us went; the 4 kids, my mom and dad, trudging our way through an insane amount of unplowed snow. In fact, I’m pretty sure it was still blizzarding down upon us for the entire walk.
It was kind of fun, in a Nanook of the North, Survivalist kind of way. My mom was so pleased that we could show such a wonderful example of Christianity and good Catholic faith (she was, after all, Scottish, and religion was very near and dear to her heart, as was perseverance over insurmountable odds). We finally arrived at the Church, looking like Eskimos, and dripping snow all over, but quite pleased with ourselves and our religious fervor.
The priest that day, Father Lutz (amazing how I can remember his name after all these years), gave a rather condescending sermon in which he remarked that, while it was nice that the very few of us who made it to church showed up, it was completely unnecessary, given the weather conditions. WELL….my mother was completely disgusted! She was soooo annoyed at him, and couldn’t believe he would dismiss our valiant efforts to show our faith by our struggle to Mass through all of this snow, only to be so summarily dismissed.
My mother had Multiple Sclerosis for much of her adult life, and in her very stoic way, never even told anyone about it until I was in my 30’s. No one. Not my Dad, not her parents, not us, not her best friend(s). No one.
She kept it all in, kept it all to herself for about 20 years. I still cannot quite fathom that, given the year I’ve been through. She lived in this state of panic and limbo that I’ve lived in this last year, for over 20 years, never sharing the fear or anxiety with anyone, not even my dad until she was in her 50’s. And me, I shout it from the highest mountaintops. I’m so out there, constantly telling everyone how indignant I am about this very annoying and horrible disease that’s been hoisted upon me, while she kept it all in with great dignity, only sharing it when we were all older.
She was a strong woman.
So, let me post these pictures of today’s ice storm for posterity. It’s the least I can do, in honor of the memories that the snow has brought me today.
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Beautiful snow colored Red Maple in our front yard. |
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Snow covered fir trees. |
You do realize, of course, that it WASN’T a positive thing to “keep it all in” the way she did, though. She was one of a kind, but I do think her life (well, and OURS!!) would have been easier if she’d communicated all that. I’m glad you’ve reached out about your cancer, Claudia. It helps you, us, and probably quite a few others out there, too.
xoxo
ps
you always remind me of a little cartoon duck in this photo. You were cute.
yeah, I know, it would have been so much easier for her if she’d told us. And YES, I know I look like a little Baby Huey duck. You of course, were always the prettiest of the 3 (and still are) ๐
Thanks for sharing your story Claudia, and can so relate to the home made eater outfits!! I would have to agree with your sister that while I am sure she was a wonderful woman, I have to think she would have been better off if she was able to share what she was going through then. But, not to blame her, those were the days when no one talked about that stuff. I can remember my mom only saying the word cancer in a whisper … just was not something anyone felt like they could discuss. …. glad you/we are smarter about that now.
Hi Betty – yeah, it was sort of like that for me in the beginning too. I didn’t want to even say the word cancer out loud. I still have some hesitation to write it down, it doesn’t seem real even after a whole year. But, I agree, secrets cause problems for all of us, shit happens and we need to acknowledge it. My kids are the better for knowing what the year has been about. XO