This morning, I was cleaning up before the cleaning lady comes (you women will know what I’m talking about) and as I looked up at the wall, I noticed this electrical outlet.
For a few minutes I gazed at it, wondering why it was discolored and greyish at the bottom, until I realized it was because for years, while the kids were young, we had a night light there. The bulb was facing the wall, so I guess over the years, it discolored the metal of the plate and I’d never really noticed it until this morning.
I was a very worrisome mother. Both of my kids, when they were young, were afraid of the dark. And I was afraid of their fear. I would worry, and obsess and try to “fix it.” So we had night lights in each child’s room, and in the hallway in case they woke up in the middle of the night and were frightened. And then there were dimmers on their bedroom lights, which I would leave on until they fell asleep, and then I’d go in and turn them off.
Sometime along the way, over the years, they got over their fear of the dark and now that they’re 16 and 18, there’s no reason for night lights anymore. So we took them off, room by room, and today for the first time I actually noticed those dark black marks on the bottom of the outlet in the hall and had a little moment, as I realized how far we all have come. The kids are grown, and over their fear of the dark. I’ve grown and am slowly but surely getting over my fears for them.
I still worry and obsess, but I have a lot more context for it now. When something “bad” happens (the kids get a bad grade, or fail a test, or lose a basketball tournament), I have this whole new way of looking at things. I mean, after all, it’s just a failed test (tournament, grade). It’s not cancer.
Love this post. How far you have come!
Lisa
Thanks Lisa!
Could have melted the plastic and burnt the house down!
Your Brother!
Hey Eddie, thanks for weighing in. Didn’t think of that but you’re probably right. Xo
xo love this!
Thanks, Paula xo
This moment, right now, is the one to be treasured, I think. Who knows what’s ahead, and I find the past tends to be remembered for the most part with fondness…
Sue, you’re right about how we remember the past with fondness. Xo
I loved the line “cleaning the house for the cleaning lady”….a concept so true, but also why I loved your post on FB from Chris that his friends don’t care if the house is clean, but only care if there is food! Getting back to what is important! (ha ha) Thanks for sharing!
Hi Dodie, thanks for reading! And, yes, that post that Chris did was so funny and so true. It’s all about the snacks and food for then, all about order and calm for me! 🙂
I can’t count the number of times I’ve reacted to something this past year with “well, it’s not cancer.” C is brings with it HUGE amounts of perspective. I don’t get worked up over half the things that used to bother me before. Great post!
Hi Rachel, so glad you could relate. Yeah, the perspective I now have on “problems” is so different than it was pre-BC. Thanks for reading, I am so appreciative of peoples feedback.
I love those little clues as to life passing and passed. Like the burn mark.
Carol
http://www.carolcassara.com
Me too, Carol….thanks!
You are so right. Keeping things in context does change the dark to daylight sometimes. Take care.
Barbara
Glad you posted this on Twitter today, Claudia. Before BC perspective is truly different than after BC perspective. I must say, my favorite thing in your post is the Dr. Seuss quote. It highlights the meaning of the entire theme. Great hearing from you!
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I love Dr. Seuss, he has so many great quotes. Thanks for stopping by, Terri!