This month I’ve been reflecting on some of the life lessons I learned from breast cancer. Most of them are still relevant now, 3 years later:
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1. Life is short. Make (and check items off) a bucket list.
2. Family is everything, things and stuff mean very little.
3. You already have everything you need in life, just become more aware of it around you.
4. Kids are great teachers. My kids showed me what was really important during the chemo and surgeries.
5. Notice things. Don’t rush, take time to see the remarkable things around you in each moment (like the gorgeous night skies I saw during all those baseball games throughout that summer of chemo).
6. Friends are really important. I had the most amazing support group during chemo and surgeries, women know how to rally when a friend is down!
7. People want to help, so don’t keep your diagnosis a secret. There wasn’t one person that I can think of who didn’t rise to the occasion when I told them what I was going through (even my clients).
8. Let people help you. You can’t do this on your own, it truly takes a village to take care of a woman who’s going through breast cancer. Believe me, those casseroles and desserts that all your friends are going to be bringing over to you and your family are going to be fabulous for your kids (you won’t be eating them if you’re going through chemo…..but they’re going to love ’em).
9. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If the house is a mess, so be it. Spend what little energy you have during treatments on family and friends instead of on cleaning.
10. Trust your doctors. I used to have a mantra that I would chant over and over in my head during all the procedures, “Empower my healers,” which helped me through all the poking and prodding and needle pricks. After all, if you don’t trust your doctors, you need to be finding new ones.
11. Be your own best advocate. No one knows your body like you do, so ask a lot of questions and make demands of your medical team. Research everything, get 2nd opinions and in general, take charge of your own health care.
12. Surround yourself with positive people. Don’t let negative energy drain you, you need to focus on yourself when you’re sick.
13. Show gratitude. I was so lucky to have such a good network of support while I was sick and it took me almost a year afterwards, but I made a point of doing something special for each of the people who helped me, to show them how grateful I was for their support during my illness.
14. Stop worrying. Easy to say, harder to do. This one was hardest for me during all the procedures, but I used things like breathing exercises to help me diffuse my nervous energy during each chemo treatment, and right before each surgical procedure so that my body would be more relaxed throughout.
15. Seize the day. Trite, but really relevant after a breast cancer diagnosis.
How about you? What were the life lessons you learned, or are learning, from your experience with breast cancer?
Great list! Great insight!
Thank you, love your blog!
great post, love that picture of the sky.
Thanks, Meg! And thanks for stopping by…..wasn’t that sky gorgeous? Made all those hours sitting on the baseball field worthwhile 🙂
those are some great things on your list cancer does change a family, my mom had breast cancer when I was in college and it made cancer more personal instead of just some disease that could happen to others. thankfully my mom is in remission 10+ years.
Hi Lorrie, So glad to hear that your mom has been in remission for over 10 years, that’s wonderful. I often wonder how my experience with breast cancer will impact my kids. They were 12 and 14 when I was going through my active treatments and are now 16 & 18. I worry that they’ll remember me when I was so sick, not now when I’m so healthy and stronger. Thanks for stopping by and reading, I appreciate your note.
I am so glad that the girls have not turned against me (yet?), Claudia. I truly admire your strength and straight-forwardness with the condition, instead of feeling sorry for yourself and giving up. I had an aunt with breast cancer who basically gave up the moment the received the treatment. And when the cancer didn’t want to kill her, she took care of that by herself. Having seen people fighting the desease so fervently and still losing at the end, something like her case just makes me so mad and furious. Thank you for being a fighter and such a great role model for your kids, Claudia!
Thanks, Stephanie. Sorry to hear about your aunt. Hope you had a lovely birthday.
I agree with everything you’ve listed! I was also very open about my reconstruction and would show pretty much anyone who wanted to see it. I was even fortunate enough to get to show a woman who was getting ready to undergo the same surgery as I had, so she would know what she was getting ready to go through.
That’s great that you were able to help the woman going through the same surgery. It was hard to understand what to expect so it must have been helpful. Glad you’re doing so well!
I think 6, 9, 12 and 13 are where I need to remember to focus. Thanks for this list 🙂
Hi Lizzi, Yeah, surrounding myself with positive people was really beneficial, whether I’m sick or feeling well. Thanks for reading, and the comment, and for TTOT!
Thanks for the nudge towards gratitude, love and other important matters!
Thanks for reading, Karen!
It’s such a shame that many of these things go unnoticed when we’re in a season of wealth and prosperity – crisis seems to bring out what’s truly important. Thanks for sharing!
You’re right, you can lose sight of the important things until you’re in crisis mode…..
10 11 15 are words to live by … I think they are the biggest lessons ive learned with a ca diagnosis. I have had ca longer than Ive not had it so now I wonder if I could have learned those things without it… I suspect the answer is yes but no matter they are important to learn.
For me, while I knew some of these things to be true, I didn’t actively live like that until after my bc diagnosis, which frankly, is a shame. But now that I’ve learned it, I sure am trying not to forget!
Great list Claudia. Don’t sweat the small stuff, trust your doctors or get new ones, be your own best advocate all stood out for me – not because the others aren’t important, but because those are less often recognised than the others (at least I think that’s so.)
My mother had breast cancer, over 26 years ago and is still going strong with no recurrence, so I hope you, Dyanne and anyone else who has been through it can also have that outcome.
I’m sorry your mom had breast cancer 26 years ago, but very happy to hear she hasn’t had a recurrence. Thanks for stopping by!
Ohhh….I especially love #3 and #5. Thanks for sharing these lesson that will benefit everyone.
Thanks for stopping by, Lori!
I like this list you put together! I did not follow #7 for cultural/religious reasons. I was trying to walk away from what I thought people would say to me. Today is a different story – I no longer care and I am ready to expose it all, and to respond to uncomforting comments too!
One thing I appreciated after diagnosis was how easy it was for me to remove people from my life. I mean, really easy. I didn’t want to deal with drama or negativity anymore! Priorities change after cancer.
Thanks for sharing your tips!
Keep your sense of humor! It makes things easier for you and breaks the tension for friends and family who think they have to be serious all the time because you have a serious disease!
Yes! Sense of humor is very important throughout, as well.