I’ve never been much of a fan of Valentine’s Day. Once a holiday becomes “official,” to me it smacks of commercialism and starts to turn into a one-up kind of thing. Who got the best flowers. Who gave the best chocolates. Whose husband/significant other got them the best something or other. Who had the most emotionally significant and satisfying kind of day, etc., etc., etc.
And I hate going out to dinner on Valentine’s Day. The service is always rushed, the food is usually over cooked and the menu is never that interesting because restaurants need to come up with things that are easy to prepare in mass quantities.
Bah humbug. What an old scrooge I am.
On Valentine’s Day 4 years ago I had my final surgery in my reconstruction process. Yes. I had surgery on Valentine’s Day.
It was the last surgery in the reconstruction process where they took out the uncomfortable heavy plastic expanders and replaced them with softer implants and I was so happy to just get it over and done with that I took whatever day they would give me at the hospital. I was so glad when it was over; that was celebration enough for me.
And this year we’re snowed in with Winter Storm Pax (who makes up these names?!) and since I’ve spent the last 2 days holed up in the house without showering and with no makeup on; it certainly isn’t going to be a very romantic night for either of us. I’ll probably wind up making meat loaf for dinner and I know I won’t be getting any candy or flowers since hubby’s not going outside either, other than to do some more shoveling later today.
I guess that’s my Valentine’s Day gift, the fact that he and the kids do the shoveling when it gets really heavy like this stuff. That’s kind of how it gets after 20 years of marriage (yes, this is our 20th anniversary year; boy has that gone both amazingly fast, and yet tediously and somewhat annoying slow, all at the same time).
You don’t really need to celebrate those official days, you find the moment in the little things, the small moments in time when you share something together. Like how my husband takes the dog out for the last bathroom break of the night, because he knows I hate going out when it’s so dark. Like how he shovels the snow because he knows it hurts my chest muscles, after the reconstruction, to shovel. Like how he put a snow brush in my car in early December so I would have it before the first snow hit and never even mentioned it.
I really do feel that we should do this stuff every day; show our love for each other every day, not just on holidays.
For your viewing pleasure, my favorite love song: Talking Heads ‘This Must Be The Place.’ So gentle and sweet. And with that odd David Byrne sensibility.
Enjoy the holiday in whatever fashion you and your loved one(s) prefer. Mine will be spent binge-watching the Season 2 release of ‘House of Cards’ on Netflix. Can’t wait.
Yes, the commercialism of a Hallmark holiday is a downer…but i like having a day to think love the whole day. Ina perfect world we’d be more mindful, and really, your post is a good reminder to think love more often. And in the small things. Agree.
Thanks, Carol. I’m in Marketing and I see how all of these holidays are so completely used for marketing purposes, rather than a real, organic approach to celebrating life and love, so I’m a bit jaded. But, yes, the small things matter. Thanks for stopping by.
I am so with you on being thoughtful and showing how we feel all year round and not just on this one, overhyped, over commercialized “holiday.” I am more appreciative of the fact my husband knows how I take my coffee or will bring me home a bottle of wine I like without me asking.
He’s good to me throughout the year and that’s way more important than celebrating this one day. We’ve only been married for 3.5 years but we’ve already settled comfortably into our own thing and we’re happy that way. One silly holiday sure as heck isn’t going to change that! =)
Congratulations on being married 3 1/2 year – you’re practically newlyweds! Hope you and your husband have that bottle of wine together tonight. Thanks for stopping by!
You are so right that any holiday can be driven by commercialism…but I am a celebration slut and will party and celebrate for practically any reason…so Valentine’s Day works for me! But I too refuse to do it the same as anyone else so my husband and I will do something that just highlights the fact that every single day we get to share together. Enjoy “House of Cards!” ~Kathy
LOL, well then, you go girl! Sounds like you and your husband are going to have a great day/night together – enjoy!
Hi Claudia, Dear hubby and I were just discussing this very thing this morning. We tried going out for dinner a few years ago and it was so stressful to find a place to eat because of course we had no reservations…We don’t even try doing that anymore. I much prefer a quiet day/evening on Valentine’s Day because as you said, we need to show the love every day. It’s the other days that add up to be big. Thanks for the timely post! And I’ll still wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day! And think spring!
Hi Nancy – Thank you, I am actually enjoying today since I reduced all expectations of any type of real celebration and it’s been fun. Cooking up a storm so everyone is happy. Spring is really right around the corner, my son starts baseball practice in less than a month!
We don’t celebrate this day at all. I think Hallmark is the only one who wins on this day.
Glad to hear it’s not just me, and that I’m the only jaded one out there 🙂
This year it’s a bah humbug day for me, too. Mostly because my husband is sick and totally forgot about it, but I’ve always thought it’s a Hallmark day. Browsing through the posts, articles, commercials, movies today, it can be depressing for someone who doesn’t have a valentine. We should all just give money, I think, to the American Heart Association for research to stop heart ailments. That would be more productive!
Good idea, Cathy! It sure would be. Sorry your husband is sick, hope he feels better soon.
I am not a big romantic Valentine’s girl either… my hubs and I DID get married on the 17th and had a red rose valentine wedding that was just classic and lovely!! So I always dreamed of this being our anniversary time away celebrating…
But so far- nope. We just decided that for our 15th we are GOING AWAY DAMMIT!! So I believe this is our 13th- so two more years and the kids will be old enough to stay somewhere for a few days without me worrying…
Our 20th will be a renewal of our vows on the beach….DAMMIT. 😉
My favorite “love song’ is “Every Breath You Take” by The Police. But, I also do not like V-Day. The vet fun I ever had on V-Day was hen a bunch of girlfriends went away for the weekend (which included the day ), We had so much fun watching the couples “celebrate”
And I’m guilty! Love those presents. Having surgery on V-Day sucks and would forever spoil it…unless to commemorate you got a really great…present!
You’re right Valentine’s Day is definitely a big commercialism event now. I enjoy the presents that I get as a result of the holiday, but to be honest, my husband spoils me regardless. I can see why you feel the way you do.
Everyone keeps talking about House of Cards and I haven’t even watched the first one yet. I’m going to have to make time to check it out from all the chatter about it. 🙂 From #SITSblogging.
I agree, everyday should be Valentine day if you love!!:-)
dear Claudia,
this was my first valentines’ day without my beloved, Hugh. we also thought it was just a Hallmark day – until we had grandchildren. we always treasured their darling home-made cards, and how excited they were for their parties at school. I missed sharing that, but on the days leading up to the 14th, I found several love notes Hugh wrote to me – we were always big on writing notes – on the bathroom mirror, leaving them in his suitcase when he travelled on business, on the kitchen counter, under our pillows – I think I will keep finding them for the rest of my life because neither of us ever threw a single one of them away! now I see our children and our grandchildren doing the same thing and it just thrills me. keeping the connection of love and letting those we adore know we are thinking of them with even a hastily scrawled note – who needs Hallmark?!
much love and light,
Karen