The quote above is by Dr. Habib Sadeghi in the latest Gwyneth Paltrow Goop newsletter which I subscribed to a while ago and still haven’t cancelled (although after this one, I may just have to).
I take such umbrage at this quote.
It bothers me deeply because it insinuates that those of us who have experienced cancer are somehow responsible for bringing it on ourselves because of unresolved emotional pain or unexpressed desires.
I have spent many years of my life in active pursuit of self expression and continually work on advancing my self-expression and self-awareness, and for this man to put this notion out there into the universe is so simplistic and irresponsible.
Ok, in full transparency, let me just share that at this specific moment I’m sitting in the LAX airport, the air conditioning system in my terminal is broken and it’s about 95 degrees in here (can you spell hot flash), so granted, I’m in a particularly pissed off frame of mind and sweating like crazy…. but…. even on a good day, this quote would infuriate me.
I’m all for wholistic health, I’m pretty much the queen of wholistic health. I believe in a mind/body connection, I believe that you need to be aware of what you put in your body, as well as how you react to outside stress while aiming to maintain calm and peace in your mind and body. But, sometimes your body just takes it’s own course and you’re there for the ride. Which is what happened to me in 2010.
So I don’t need Gywneth Paltrow or Dr. Sadeghi to tell me that I got breast cancer because I wasn’t fully expressing myself or some such nonsense. My family will tell you I express the heck out of myself. In fact, they have often let me know that perhaps I express myself a little too much for their liking….
It drives me crazy when I read articles on how you can cure yourself of cancer by eating massive amounts of broccoli (I have eaten tons of broccoli over the course of my life), or avoiding anger, or willing yourself to health, or meditating, or somehow “positive thinking” the cancer out of your body in some miraculous airy-fairy kind of way. ‘Cause that’s not really how it works.
You go along with your life eating well, getting a decent amount of rest (or as much as you can when you’re a working mom with 2 kids), exercising a bit here and there, taking care of your family and life in general and then one day your body takes a slight detour, goes a little haywire and you have cancer.
And it turns out that the best medical experts around advise you that your best option is to pump a lot of extremely toxic drugs into your body, and have a series of body-mutilating surgeries to remove the cancer from your body (or at least the visible cancer). And then you still aren’t even 100% sure that it’s not going to come back.
So, please Gwyneth and Dr. Sadeghi, don’t go telling me that it’s my fault, and that if I were more able to express my desires or had dealt with my inner emotional pain that I wouldn’t have had breast cancer. I’m sorry but that’s just insulting.
Phew, that felt good. A pox on those two.
Now let me get back to watching tonight’s episode of the final season of “Sons of Anarchy.” God, do I want this last season to be over. Please, Kurt Sutter, just end the madness. Jax and his merry band of bikers have gone off their rockers and have spiraled out of control.
Did I mention that I was trying to reduce the stress in my life? Then why in the world am I watching this insanely violent TV show about mayhem and madness among the Southern California biker community?!
Bravo, well said – and I too can’t wait til the end of Sons of Anarchy – wish it didn’t go so far to the extreme, but still can’t stop watching
Hi Melissa! Thanks….and yes, this season is way too violent, but I just want to find out how he ends it, and I can’t stop watching. So disturbing, can’t wait for the last episode so I can let it all go and get it out of my system!
You go girl!! Love you Claudia.
Awwww, thanks Mary Ellen! xo
What a complex topic. I do think Goop tends to oversimplify. Excuse me, her ghostwriters do. But reflective of Goop, of course. I’m pretty sure the intent of that train of thought–that disease has a mind connection–does not mean the individual is to blame in any way. But it’s beyond my pay grade to fully understand. I can see why Goop’s post annoyed you so much, though.
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Yes, you’re probably right, Carol. I was just so pissed when I read it and had to vent. I do acknowledge that there is a mind/body connection but this particular quote just really hit me in the wrong way and felt so irresponsible.
So frustrating. You should have a ‘conscious uncoupling’ from the newsletter. hahah.
As it were, I am watching that SOA episode as I read this. Poor Juice. I will move on the The Walking Dead…because it helps me relax.
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Walking Dead helps you relax!!??? Wow. I haven’t even had the nerve to start watching that show yet, although I’ve been told I must but never heard it was relaxing, that’s quite an interesting and different take on it! And, I might just take your advice on that conscious uncoupling from Goop.
I stopped my subscription long ago, Claudia, because I couldn’t stay her arrogance any longer. Tsk, tsk. Would you consider trying to get this published in Huffington Post? I think it’s more than deserving of further attention. Whatever you decide, shame on Gwynie and the foolish idiotic doctor!
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I know, at this point, I just look forward to reading her because the posts are so inane that I’m wondering what nonsense will come spouting out next, but this one ticked me off on the wrong day and I had to rant!
Thank-you Claudia! I actually had in law relatives say to me that I wanted my cancer. There is a school of thought evidently that says cancer is caused by wanting it, and people believe it. Of course they have never had cancer. My inner emotional pain and desires are vocally expressed much to the dismay of my family so I must not have eaten enough broccoli. Yes that’s the ticket! Just give me some biker mayhem anyday than cancer quacks.
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Holy smokes, really?! That’s just crazy…..sorry to hear you have such people as in laws! Feels good to vent, doesn’t it? 🙂 xo
Yes! Nicely said and wonderfully written. I’m no fan of Gwyneth or the good doctor. I love SOA and it does cause a bit of stress. I don’t care though…I still love it!
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So many SOA fans! Thanks, Sandy.
Amen. This reminds me of when someone told me I had postpartum depression because I didn’t exercise.
Oh boy, sounds like Tom Cruise when he told Brooke Shields the same thing…..sometimes you just need to trust your own instincts. Thanks for the comment and for reading, Lisa!
The quote infuriated me too. I have watched four of the most mindful, calm, happy people die of cancer this year. Only one of them ever smoked and drank at an ealier time in life.
Cancer just sucks. I agree that a clear mind can help with recovery but actually causing, ugghh.
SOA -I’ve been telling my husband Jax just wants to be a good man for 4 years and he laughs harder at me every season. Abel was awesome.
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I’m so sorry you had to go through this with so many people close to you, Doreen. And…..I used to think Jax wanted to be a good man, but in this last season, I’m pretty sure he’s gone sociopath on us!
Gwynnie is mucho annoying. She just is. Her whole “conscious uncoupling” was gag inducing. She can’t even get divorced without lecturing the rest of us. Anyhoo, I think some just take the “power of positive thinking” mantra too far. On the other end of the spectrum, my mother was the poster child for unrealized desires and unresolved pain and she lived to be 80 and beat cancer 4 times.
I know, that whole conscious uncoupling kind of just put her over the top as far as I was concerned. Let’s call a spade a spade, guys.
In Gwyneth’s defense, she has to keep her brand image going. And her brand is built entirely on wrong-headedness, social insensitivity, lack of empathy and condescension. So cut her a break, okay?
Hahahah, I suppose you’re right, Leslie.
so sorry although I’m sure that doesn’t help. I plan on blogging about my own breast cancer scare tomorrow night. Perhaps check my site out then.
I will, Janice. And thank you for reading and leaving a comment.