The Pet Saga: Fancy Rats Part 2

The Fancy Rat saga continues.  This stuff is just too good not to write down.

Yesterday I was driving back home and turning onto our street when I saw my daughter driving the other way.  We both stopped at the corner and rolled down our car windows and before I said a word, she greeted me with, “Hi, I’m on my way to the pet store to buy rat toys.”

To which I responded, “Of course you are.”

She brought home: a plastic exercise ball to roll them around the floor, a little cave-like house and a hanging climbing toy with bells.  I’m pretty sure she spent the last of her Christmas money on this stuff. So far my son hasn’t been involved at all, I think they’re quickly becoming hers, although I’m pretty sure he put in half the money for the actual rats.

She’s decided she wants to rename Barnabas, Layla (like the Eric Clapton song).  And she told me that Clarice was named after Clarice Starling from Silence of the Lambs.  Go figure.

Remember, these critters are both supposed to be females. They freakin’ better both be females because if they turn out to be a male and female and we wind up with baby rats I will throw up.

I’ve already been scheming about what we’ll do when she goes to college, because let’s face it, my son is never going to be on top of taking care of them and it’s a role I am not willing to take on, so I’m already planting the seed in her mind that she needs to identify a friend who she can pawn the rats off on generously give the rats to when she goes off to college next year.  Necessity is the mother of invention.

I’ve been in Marketing my whole career, and I imagine that some very smart and probably very rich pet company product director must be laughing gleefully at his brilliance at coming up with the idea of selling rats as pets.

I can imagine the meetings with the senior pet company executives in a big conference room where he showed Power-Point presentations of rat charts and graphs while he pitched his concept:

Today a package came from Amazon with yet more toys that she ordered online.  Once again, she’s spending Christmas gift certificates on this stuff.  And what she REALLY needs is a new coat, but that’s not gonna’ happen.

To those of you who are wondering why I just haven’t put my foot down and said NO, YOU MUST RETURN THESE RODENTS, there is a method to my madness.  She’s at that 6 months prior to college stage where she’s just dying to find something to rebel against and I’m just not going to let these silly rodents be the cause of a big argument.

What a way to start 2014.  I think we’re in for an interesting year.